After finding a decent job in Virginia Beach last July, we started family planning, scheduled to see my new OB-GYN and followed what was instructed. But sometime by the end of month one, I started to worry. I was about to step out of the bathroom when I thought of that BIG question. Who's gonna take care of the baby? Being OC at times, I never wanted to trust our little one to someone outside the family circle. However, I still went on with the plan...although it was waning. And with that, what could be the probable result?
This time, I was using the ovulation predictor kits or shall I call, "white chocolates" . It was no longer Lance who bought them. It was me...
Geez! I haven't seen any sign of fertility from every "white chocolate" I consumed. Maybe because of two things. My body was tired of achieving the desired level while my mind was weary of the thought of a RESPONSIBLE relative nanny. ...So the three-month regimen ceased on month two. Again, it was frustrating.
Oh, well... :(
The right time will come, I thought, even if it's planned or not. At that point, I was considering some advantages. I would join Halloween trick or treating and run with kids. Plus the autumn season was a great time for shooting my California Dreaming video. We could travel all over and look for a perfect venue. We could see sights in DC, visit friends in Maryland, have fun in New York or perhaps visit relatives way up in Toronto, Canada. Also, Christmas and New Year will never be spoiled because there won't be any pregnancy symptoms.
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For most of us who's married, planning and not getting any younger, every single bar in every single "chocolate" - whether "dark" or "white" - is downright frustrating. It oftentimes gave me some depressions. It really did. But we had to accept the fact. If it's not meant to be, boo-hoo! But you know what? For once, I never considered myself being unlucky. I am happily married and that keeps me up!
So, I guess this is what I could have - POSITIVE thoughts instead of POSITIVE RESULT. At least, FOR NOW...
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